Holidays in the Autobot Faction
by Lynn Jones
Summary: Sprite and Halo have some rules for the holidays... just me wanting to put something up for Christmas, probably not of any real plot signifigance.


**Okay, since I'm feeling Christmas-y…**

**Quick note: CAPS IS COMMENTS BY JAZZ, WHO ENJOYED HACKING THESE RULES, **_**stuff in**__**italics is Halo,**_** and normal type is Sprite.**

**It should also be noted that while many bots at Fort Iacon and Debris are impressed with human traditions, Sprite is not, but Halo finds them endearing to try. As long as no one does anything stupid. And she does seem to have a soft spot for Christmas.**

**I own only Sprite, Halo, and Skyglory.**

Regarding Human Holidays:

Hello, Sprite here. Since it seems like most aspects of Cybertronian culture have been influenced by human culture, Halo and I decided to post some rules. These come into effect whenever a human holiday, celebration, tradition, or idea in general is applied to a Cybertronian or group of Cybertronians. Please take note and follow them carefully.

_Jeez, Sprite. You're such a boring narrator. Anyway, Halo here. Christmas in particular can get out of hand, and since it's that time of year (No, Whirl, not the time of year for you to be shooting people. That's not a time of year, that's your weekly skirmish…)_

_So yeah, rules. Basically, don't do anything stupid. _

_These mainly focus on Christmas, since, as I said before, Christmas can get out of hand._

_Holiday Rule 1:_

_You may not force unwilling Autobots to participate in any celebrations._

_ (Somebody - *cough*Twin Twist*cough* - thought it would be okay to decorate Impactor while he was recharging, to "make sure Impactor participates".)_

_ (We haven't found Twin Twist yet.)_

_ (I don't think Impactor could've hurt him too bad, though, because Top Spin says he's fine, and they Twin Twist replaced Impactor's harpoon-hook-hand-thing with a giant candy cane.)_

Holiday Rule 2:

You are allowed to use forced participation as a means of extracting information from Decepticon prisoners.

(This technique was first successfully used by First Aid of all people, who announced that there would be no violent or threatening interrogations at Fort Iacon during the Christmas holiday.)

(But he agreed that passive persuasion could be used.)

(It was actually fairly successful.)

(We painted Ratbat gold and chained him to the top of the giant Christmas tree.)

(After Skyglory cooed and called Ratbat a "pretty sparkly yellow star" about a hundred times, and called all of Fort Iacon to come see, our friend the former High Councilor started yelling out all kinds of plans we didn't even know Megatron had in the works. Most of them were later proved true.)

_Holiday Rule 3:_

_No, I will not change my appearance to "be more festive", no matter how cute you think your pleading faceplate is or how big you manage to make your optics, and if you ask me one more time, I will turn you over to Sprite for punishment!_

_ (Yes, looking at you, Slamdance!)_

_ (I saw that camera you were carrying!)_

_ (I will admit, though, I did change my coloring to green and red when Skyglory asked, because he's the only person around here who can actually pulled off the kicked puppy look when I say no.)_

Holiday Rule 4:

If I show interest in a holiday, it is only because I want to know ahead of time what to expect.

(OH, COME ON, SPRITE. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE CHRISTMAS JUST AS MUCH AS I DO!)

(Since when does Jazz get to comment on these rules?)

(SINCE YOU STARTED MAKING RULES THAT KEEP OTHER BOTS FROM HAVING FUN.)

HOLIDAY RULE 5:

DECORATIONS MUST BE PLACED IN LOCATIONS WHERE THE SPARKLING WON'T GET AHOLD OF THEM.

(I LOVE CHRISTMAS JUST AS MUCH AS ANYONE, BUT I DON'T WANT SKYGLORY TO GET HURT.)

(THE INCIDENT LAST YEAR WITH THE BREAKABLE ORNAMENTS ON THE STRANDS OF TINSEL STRUNG AT HUMAN-HEAD-HEIGHT ALONG THE WALLS WILL NOT BE REPEATED.)

(Thank you, Dad, for hijacking my rules.)

_(Actually, that was my rule.)_

Holiday Rule 6:

When inviting other people to base for the holidays, please, please, please be careful who you invite and how you phrase your invitations!

(Apparently me inviting Starscream and Thundercracker to a neutral territory to see Skyglory last year was misinterpreted as "Please come and bring all the Seekers you can find to Fort Iacon")

(I swear, Skywarp was the only smart one…)

_(Aw, but I had fun last year with the Seekers! They were super helpful in helping me convince Magnus and Impactor to bring the Debris Autobots to Fort Iacon for the holiday!)_

_ (I think they're also the ones who gave Twin Twist the giant candy cane.)_

_Holiday Rule 7:_

_Be very, very careful what doors you open. The rule at Debris is, if you find your present before the holiday, you don't get it._

_ (At Debris, we celebrate Christmas, ever since Jazz introduced it to the triple-changers. They get whiney if we don't.)_

_ (I accidentally found my present from Moonracer a few years ago. It was an amazing little sculpture of the original Thirteen Primes and their Source of Primus bodyguards.)_

_ (She hid it in a better place.)_

_ (I got lumpy Energon instead.)_

_ (I got the statue the next year, though!)_

Holiday Rule 8:

You may NOT give Skyglory extra treats just because it's a "holiday".

(They make him sick if he has too many.)

(AW, COME ON, SPRITE. ONE ENERGON GOODIE WON'T HURT HIM!)

(That's what you think!)

_(You know, Sprite, you can be stingy with the energon goodies.)_

(Fine.)

Holiday Rule 8 (Revised):

You may only give Skyglory extra treats with my permission, or if Ratchet checks him out and promises he hasn't had too many already.

(There, how's that?)

_(Mmm. Much better. Except…does it have to be Ratchet?)_

(Yes. I know you can convince Moonracer to allow more energon goodies than is really good for anyone.)

_Holiday Rule 9:_

_Wreckers, this one's aimed at you._

_If you break my decorations one more time, I will make you clean them up, repair or replace them, and then tell Impactor you're planning to replace his harpoon with a candy cane again!_

_No breaking my decorations!_

_ (And Primus help you if you eat my Christmas energon goodies again, Wheeljack!)_

_ (How you eat them with that crazy faceplate cover of yours, I have no idea.)_

HOLIDAY RULE 10:

HAVE FUN!

THE HOLIDAYS ARE ABOUT LOVE AND FAMILY, NO MATTER WHAT. SO BE SAFE AND SPEND TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES.

BUT DON'T COMPLETELY IGNORE THESE RULES, OR MY HOLIDAY WILL BE RUINED BECAUSE I'LL HAVE TO DISCIPLINE HALO AND SPRITE FOR WHATEVER THEY DO TO YOU.

(Dad! You just basically told them they can ignore our rules as long as they don't get caught!)

(BUT OF COURSE, SPRITE. THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL OF YOUR RULES IS "DON'T GET CAUGHT", ISN'T IT?)

_(No, that's my most important rule. And probably yours, Jazz.)_

**Well, happy holidays to everyone! And please do feel free to ignore Sprite's grumpiness. Skyglory hasn't been recharging well lately.**


End file.
